tribulations

it is pressing

down

it's all i can do to stop myself from being crushed

air is esc ap i n g

my lungs are burning

i inhale aliens

coughing i try to find

what i am looking for

to bring me back to what i knew

but i know not what that was

i know what i want

ed

not

this

where can it be

why must it be

so

the weight is the world

insomnia

self-inflicted insomnia

is what i suffer from

in bed

with the lights on

at two in the morning

heavy eyelids

and a screaming head

for the pillow

but i can't

i lie awake listening to the nothings

or live vicariously through worn out pages

and broken spines

i spent last night with dragons,

but tonight i'm seeing the stars

disillusionment

every day is the same

but also it is different

i try to concentrate but something always catches my eye

i pick pick pick at everything and nothing at the same time

i run through hallways 

and can't remember if i'm chased or chasing